by Robert J. Smith
Yoshi: Hello Cozy mystery enthusiasts. Yoshi and Gatsby here, and today we’re going to review the top five cats in Christmas cozy mysteries,
Gatsby: A list? Sounds boring.
Yoshi: Don’t be ignorant. Academic studies have proven that a top ten list is a sure way to garner attention on the internet
Gatsby: I thought you said this was a top five list?
Yoshi: Ten would take far too long. I have to get back to my nap. Who’s our first cat?
Leger the Cat – “Leger’s Gift” by Lacey Dearie
Gatsby: Leger is a black cat who investigates crimes in Glasgow, Scotland.
Yoshi: A black cat detective? He sounds similar to me. Except for him being Scottish.
Gatsby: Aye, Laddie!
Yoshi: Stop it. I’ve read the book and he doesn’t sound like Uncle Scrooge!
Gatsby: Curse me kilts!
Yoshi: Stop that!!!
Gatsby: Anyway, this mystery takes place immediately after Christmas and a sneak thief is victimizing Leger’s owner. And once Leger solves the mystery, he may wish he hadn’t.And while all that’s going on, Leger’s sidekick gives birth to a bunch of kittens.
Yoshi: you mean to say a kindle.
Gatsby: Yes, you can read all of the Leger stories on a kindle, but I don’t know what that has to do with anything.
Yoshi: No, a group of kittens can be referred to as a “kindle”.
Gatsby: That’s silly – you can’t read an e-book on a group of kittens!
Yoshi: (Sigh)Let’s move on to the next book.
Rags the Klepto Cat- A Very Meowy Christmas: A Klepto Cat Mystery by Patricia Fry
Yoshi: Next up is A Very Meowy Christmas, in which Rags the Klepto Cat has to find two ten year old boys who are lost on a cold mountainside.
Gatsby: Rags has always been a hero of mine.
Yoshi: He certainly is admirable. Do you like the way he finds lost children and animals?
Gatsby: That’s pretty good, but it’s not really the reason.
Yoshi: Is it the way he digs up clues to the mysteries his humans are investigating?
Gatsby: Nah, I could do that.
Yoshi: His winsome personality?
Gatsby: No, I don’t know what winsome means.
Yoshi: Well then, why exactly is Rags your hero?
Gatsby: He has nearly sixty books! That’s even more than Leger!
Yoshi: Yes, I suppose that is a lot of people that he’s aided and mysteries that he’s helped to solve.
Gatsby: Yeah and a lot of money that many books must bring in! I’ll bet that the sales on sixty books buys a lot of cat treats! He must be rolling in dough!
Mrs. Murphy- Santa Clawed by Rita Mae Brown and Sneaky Pie Brown
Gatsby: And here’s the iconic cat detective, Mrs Murphy.
Yoshi: Ah, yes. The grande dame of cat detectives. In this novel, Mrs. Murphy’s human discovers the body of a murdered monk in a Christmas tree lot. This leads to other murders and no one has a clue as to who’s behind it all. Of course, Mrs. Murphy and her crew have to help the humans solve the mystery.
Gatsby: They do more than help. The mystery doesn’t get solved without the cats.
Yoshi: That’s true.
Gatsby: In fact, the main human character wouldn’t even have survived the book if it wasn’t for the pets.
Yoshi: Very true.
Gatsby: Why do they even bother with the humans?
Yoshi: Well, somebody’s got to go the store and buy the cat food.
Gatsby: Amen to that.
Yoshi: What’s our next book? Wait a minute, this can’t be right…
Yoshi and Gatsby – “Petectives: Christmas Party” by Robert J. Smith
Yoshi: Wait – What? We can’t be on our own list! That’s unseemly!
Gatsby: Why not? We have a Christmas story where we try to figure out who’s trying to murder a dog during the holiday season. At the same time, we need to help a cute runaway kitten that’s wandering the cold winter streets all by himself. That is some incredibly heartwarming stuff for the Christmas season!
Yoshi: Have you no shame? I will not be a party to this self-indulgent, self-promotion!
Gatsby: Whatever! We belong on this list. We’re cat detectives, this is a holiday story and it has what must be the greatest pet Christmas party in the history of fiction.
Yoshi: Are you quite done?
Gatsby: No way! There’s action, humor and –
Yoshi: We’re done. This doesn’t count. We need another entry.
Gatsby: You do realize that if we do count our book, then its only one more until you can go take your nap…
Yoshi: Of course, in these days, there’s nothing wrong with a little self-promotion. In fact, you could say that its almost necessary.
Gatsby: You bet your tail. Now what’s our fifth and final book?
Hettie Bagshot and Tilly Jenkins – The Ghost of Christmas Paws by Mandy Morton
Yoshi: Hettie and Tilly are two cat private investigators who …
Gatsby: What? That sounds like us! Are they ripping us off?
Yoshi: Absolutely not. They’re female, they’re British and they live in a world that doesn’t have humans. Cats are the dominant species. In this Christmas entry of the series, Hattie and Milly are called out to a quaint English village where most of the upper-class occupants of an old creepy Manor have apparently been killed off by the ghost of a murdered maid named Christmas Paws. The only member of the family left calls for the detectives to uncover the truth behind the murders before she falls victim to the ghost.
Gatsby: Christmas, English villages, ghosts. How cozy can you get?
Yoshi: And at the end of the story, there is what must be the greatest Christmas pet party in the history of fiction.
Gatsby: Excuse me?
Yoshi: Oh! I mean to say, the second greatest Christmas pet party in the history of fiction.
Gatsby: That’s right, we’ve got to protect our niche.
Yoshi: That does it for our look at holiday-themed cat detectives.
Gatsby: Did we miss any?
Yoshi: Almost certainly. But while it may not have been an exhaustive list, I am an exhausted cat.
Gatsby: OK, let’s wrap this up, it’s been at least half an hour since your last nap. You’re grumpy enough when you’re not sleep-deprived.
Yoshi & Gatsby: Have a Feline Navidad everyone!!!!!!
Robert J. Smith is the agent for Gatsby cat. Smith’s duties include:
-Translating and transcribing Gatsby’s adventures
-Managing Gatsby’s business affairs and public relations
-Litter box maintenance
Robert J. Smith can be reached at [email protected]. For more of the Petectives please visit www.petectives.com!
Petectives: Rainbow Bridge was awarded the 2022 “World’s Best Cat Litter-Ary Award from the Cat Writer’s Association sponsored by World’s Best Cat Litter. Previous winners of the award include books from Carole Nelson Douglas’ “Midnight Louie” series and Shirley Rosseau Murphy’s “Joe Grey” mystery series.
